Word Alive

     I had in mind what I wanted to post about next in my mind even before I wrote my previous blog.  It's some painful truth that God has been showing me through my problems at home.  But this morning, I felt like there was a different blog post to be written, so here we are... 

    A week ago I went shopping in an actual bookstore for the first time in way too long.  My purpose for the trip was to find a new journal.  It's been a long painful and dry season between the Lord and I.  My prayer life, which has always been pitiful, was pretty much dead or non-existent. (Can it be both?)  And something that has always helped me really be focused in talking to the Lord (albeit often self-centeredly) is journal praying.  When I journal it isn't a "Dear Diary" event, it's "Dear Lord," and it's Him I am talking to.  I can't tell you how much I regret for not journaling at all through 2020.  On the one hand there is much to remember (or maybe long to forget) and look back over, but more importantly I wish I had been drawing closer to Him while my family and the world fell apart. But, I digress... (just like I warned you I would.)

    While at the bookstore, I quickly found a beautiful new journal and then decided to wander and browse for a bit.  One thing I really miss is Christian bookstores where I would spend hours just wandering and perusing the books and Bibles and music selections.  They have all disappeared and succumbed to the Amazon dot com culture.  I had to drive all the way to Santa Ana to be able to visit this Barnes & Noble, a place where I have found other journals in the past. 

    Selected journal in hand, I decided to look around in the "Religions" section a bit before making my payment.  I have been craving more reading and was kind of hoping to find a good biography/ autobiography (and unless I wanted to learn about someone in the founding fathers days or read Trump being trashed, there were none.) There were two or three shelves labeled "Bibles" which I had no interest in.  I own a lot LOT of Bibles and had recently broken out (and dusted off) two of the ones at home.  One that is well worn and a well-loved favorite and the other one is pretty untouched and (sadly) in practically new condition.  They were already earmarked for me "Draw near to God" plan. 

    As I walked by the shelves though, something powerfully grabbed my attention.It was a boxed Bible, and all the front of it said was "She Reads Truth."  I sat down on the floor and took the box into my lap, and something in my spirit just was stirred up... mightily.  If you've ever had it happen to you, you know what I mean.  It feels a lot like a panic attack, except for the strange mix of excitement and peace.  I opened the box to this beautiful "champagne colored" Bible.  Now, I am anti all things light and soft colored.  I don't like white blouses or pale pants or softly colored anything, mostly because of damage.  It never fails the one time I wear a white blouse I'll spill mustard on it.  That soft colored journal will be stained with ink on the front, etc.  I diligently avoid light colors.

But, as I drew this soft, pale colored Bible out of the box, I was moved by its beauty.  The soft color spoke to me of the pristine beauty of God's Word.  I gently fingered my way through the pages.  I looked over the different attributes of the Bible, the study tools, the maps, the included reading plan, but it didn't matter what I did or didn't find, this Bible belonged to me. I could feel it. I wasn't looking for it, but it was apparently looking for me. 

It was looking for me? Am I imparting physical human like qualities to an inanimate object? No.  Am I somehow using some sort of new age-y assessment that all things are one, and all things are alive in some way? Nope.  Rather I am remembering a Truth that I have all too many times and for too long lately forgotten, and that's that the Bible is no ordinary book. 

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." (John 1:1 CSB)  The Bible is Christ, Himself.  I believe He inhabits every single Bible, and every word is His heartbeat and whisper to our very souls. 

    That's pretty convicting for me even as I type it out.  Because the reality is, every time I have left my Bible for months on the shelf to be ignored and collecting dust, I am quite honestly doing that with the Lord and with my relationship with Him.  Every time I have tossed it aside or neglected it, said "no" to it, I am doing all of those things with and to Jesus. 

    On the other side of the same coin, there have been many many times where I needed comfort, wisdom or peace, and have found it, just by picking up my Bible.  I have been known in difficult times to just sit quietly and embrace it and hold it to my chest because it is like a hug from the Lord.  When Ethan was little he used to suffer from night terrors.  If you are unfamiliar they are bad dreams on super steroids.  Night after night he would scream and cry out in his sleep, waking up afraid and in a panic. Nightlights, cuddles and calm words were shallow comfort, and the terrors just kept coming night after night.  Then one night I just had this idea and I asked him, "Would you like a Bible to sleep with?" Desperately he agreed.  And I did not go and find his for 4-year-olds picture Bible, I broke out the big guns and got a mommy Bible, and brought it into the room.  We talked about the very scripture above, and I told Ethan, "Jesus lives in here," and we put the Bible under his pillow. And say what you will about my beliefs and interpretations, but Ethan never had night terrors again.  Call it mind over matter or psychosomatic or interpret it however you will, but I believe what I believe, and the presence of Christ in that room with my son, under his pillow, brought the manifest presence of God into that room took away his painful fears and gave him peace. He slept with that Bible under his pillow for a long time, and I will confess through the years in some scary days, I have cuddled up to my Bible in bed myself. 

    This Bible, as I held it there in the store, brought back the powerful revelation of truth that Christ Himself is in that book, and I knew I had to take it home with me, so I took some gifted Christmas money out of my wallet and paid for the journal and the new Bible and took them home.  

    Now I keep it at my new Bible at my bedside, protectively covered and kept still in that box.  No, not kept and neglected in the box, but rather kept and protected as the precious treasure that it is.  Now most mornings (I need to aim for every) I stop, pick up the box and for a moment, I quiet my heart before opening it.  It's this mental acknowledgement for me, like Moses taking off his shoes, I am about to embark on Holy Ground.  Even after I lift the Bible out of the box, I am slow and careful as I literally enter in.  I linger before I open it. That moment, like an altar moment-- that moment is very real.  

    Now, I'm not going to try to come off as super pious or holier than thou, because I will confess, sometimes I get into His presence and I rush around, and I have to fight hard not to make my visit there more than just a check off of my "to do" list.  I try to read it and remember that He is there with me to speak to me through it, and that everlasting Truth is there to refresh my soul, bring healing, hope, direction, correction and more.  

    The business of God's Word is real.  It tells us in Hebrews chapter 4 verse 12, "The Word of God is living and effective and sharper than any double-edged sword, penetrating as far as the separation of soul and spirit, joints and marrow. It is able to judge the intentions of the heart. (CSB) As I lay open that Bible, it's purpose it to lay me out. Hebrews goes on to say that we are "naked and exposed" before the eyes of God's Word.  That can be very scary, but like surgery, it can also be very healing and restorative, and even when God may have to cut with that double-edged sword, it's not to take away and leave less, but rather it is to separate from what hinders us and leave us better, and better off. 

    It's a hard and scary world right now. Not just for me and mine, but for all of us in this crazy world we are living in.  There is a tremendous amount of uncertainty and division.  Nothing feels or appears sure or  reliable.  So I find myself particularly grateful that this Bible called out to me off the shelf at this particularly difficult time.  Because, as it says in Hebrews 13:8, "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever." (CSB) 

    The Word, in the flesh, and in that Bible are eternal and unchanging, they are certain and reliable. They are the anchor we so desperately need in this uncertain storm. So I just want to encourage you, or remind you if you already know, that when you pick up that Bible, you are in fact meeting with the very Prince of Peace.  The King of kings is stopping to meet you right there where you are.  So pick it up, bring it into your hands, but linger for a moment and prepare your heart, because as you open that "Book" you are indeed stepping into Holy Ground.